Town Board May 21, 2024

Attendees:

• Mayor Nobody
• Councilmember Rando
• Councilmember Seymore
• Councilmember Canadian Town Clerk Grassclippings

Agenda:

1. Approval of previous meeting minutes.
2. Discussion on the proposed construction of a roller coaster in the middle of the town square.
3. Consideration of a zoning ordinance that requires all residents to paint their houses with polka dots.
4. Review of a request to build a ski resort on the top of the town’s only hill.
5. Any other business.

Meeting Proceedings:  

1. Approval of previous meeting minutes:

The minutes of the previous meeting were presented, but unfortunately, nobody could make sense of them. After a brief moment of Grassclippings, it was unanimously decided to approve the minutes anyway.

2. Discussion on the proposed construction of a roller coaster in the middle of the town square: Mayor Nobody proposed the idea of constructing a roller coaster right in the middle of the town square. The rationale behind this idea was to attract tourists and boost the local economy. Councilmember Rando questioned the practicality of the proposal, suggesting that a Ferris wheel or a merry-go-round might be more suitable. Councilmember Seymore argued that a roller coaster would add an element of danger and excitement to the town. After a lengthy debate filled with absurd arguments and wild tangents, it was decided to create a subcommittee to further investigate the roller coaster proposal.

3. Consideration of a zoning ordinance that requires all residents to paint their houses with polka dots:

Councilmember Canadian brought up the idea of implementing a zoning ordinance that would mandate all residents to paint their houses with polka dots. He argued that it would promote creativity and make the town visually distinct. Councilmember Seymore suggested that instead of polka dots, residents should be required to paint their houses with stripes. The discussion quickly devolved into a chaotic exchange of contradictory opinions, and the proposal was tabled for further nonsensical deliberation.

4. Review of a request to build a ski resort on the top of the town’s only hill:

A local entrepreneur presented a proposal to build a ski resort on the top of the town’s only hill, despite the fact that the hill was barely a slope. The entrepreneur argued that it would bring winter sports enthusiasts to Demotown, even though the town had never experienced snow.

After much laughter and sarcastic comments, the board agreed to support the project, under the condition that the entrepreneur would also provide fake snow for year-round skiing.

5. Any other business:

Mayor Nobody announced that a new project was underway to turn the local library into a trampoline park. The idea was met with mixed reactions, with Councilmember Rando suggesting that the library should be turned into a giant ball pit instead. Councilmember Seymore proposed the idea of combining both concepts and creating a trampoline park with a ball pit filled with books. The meeting ended with everyone in stitches, as they pondered the possibilities.

Meeting adjourned at 6:15.

Town Clerk Grassclippings